Guide
by dfsObliss
Summary: A Guide is a detiy incharge of traiing heros. Sasuke's humilating defeat at the hands of his brother led him to hardest assignment yet: to change Naruto from an simple country bumpkin, to into a respectful hero. Slight Greek and Roman themes. SasuNaru
1. Prologue

The sound of horses and chanting men was deafening as Agamemnon's forces surrounded the fortress cheered for their hero's defeat of the infamous Hector.

In the background, a hooded figure internally cheered, 'take that Itachi, I win.'

As if the gods decided to counter the figure's quick assumption, a single arrow shot from the fortress straight through Achilles' heel. Achilles toppled from the chariot. The stunned Greeks froze in mid-cheer. Not even Aeolus, the ruler of the winds, dared to break the deafening silence that ensued. Finally, as if by a secret signal, the battle restarted, each side twice as determined to win.

Amidst the chaos, no one heard the hooded figure's furious internal screaming of 'Itachi'. The figure's blood-red eyes scanned the battlements, looking for a dark haired man with eyes as equally red as his. He found him. Their eyes locked, even from the far distance, the clocked figure could see the amusement written in those other, more dangerous eyes, mocking him.

"Good morning Sasuke," The grey-haired man said. The man strolled to where Sasuke was staring intently at the scrying glass. "Oh?" the new arrival raised an eyebrow. "Two weeks after the fighting is over, and you're still looking at the remnants of that city? Personally I would find that view dreary in a day. I much rather look at the oceans. Though looking is about all my dear dolphin is allowing me to do these days," sighed the grey-haired man morosely.

Dark grey eyes glared, "Cut you crap, Kakashi. What do you want?"

"Oh? Is this the way you treat your dear old sensi? Especially when I have another assignment for you."

"What are you talking about? I'm on fifty year probation. Besides I don't think I can handle training another hero this soon after that … incident."

"You mean that who Achilles fiasco? Yes, that was a rather tragic way to die. Shot in the heel after a victory. Cheer up Sasuke, at least the Fates said we will still be one of the most renowned heroes centuries later."

"I don't want one of my assignments to be known for something as stupid as this! This is all Itachi's fault. He purposely hid Achilles' weak point from me. That whole fiasco is him mocking me. Paris behind Hector to mock me when I thought Achilles had won. I thought it was strange that he chose Hector, who seemed to be a common brute. I am positive he messed with the scrolls. Otherwise, I would still have my perfect record, you well know."

"Hmmm, well you can't prove that. Even the Gods are unable to change the scrolls. Well, you really should take this one. One of his attributes broke the charts. From the picture, I would say he's exactly your type. Blond, blue eyes, pretty, probably prettier than Achilles …"

"Well, if you put it that way..."

Kakashi clapped Sasuke's shoulder companionably. "Good, his name is Naruto. It's an uncommon name in that region. Oh and don't mess up. Your reputation as a Guide can't survive another blow this soon."

"Yah, Yah" Sasuke grumbled, forming the signs to open the gateway to earth. As he walked through, Kakashi waved cheerily and called "Oh and don't forget you owe me a favor now"

Sasuke sputtered and turned back, but the gateway was already closed.

"Damn Kakashi." He grumbled.

As headed farther into the gateway, he thought 'you better be worth all this trouble, Naruto."

A/N Review! First story ever, will definately get better (and smexyer) =]


	2. Mistake

Hahaha... forgot to this last time

Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto, wish I did

Summary: A Guide is a detiy incharge of traiing heros. Sasuke's humilating defeat at the hands of his brother led him to hardest assignment yet: to change Naruto from an simple country bumpkin, to into a respectful hero. Slight Greek and Roman themes. SasuNaru

* * *

_Day 1_

_Hemlock Inn, Peruna Greece,_

Sasuke sat on a veranda overlooking the festival of the Fall Harvest. He had thought it clever to go searching for Naruto on this day since all the towns folk, as well as those who lived quite a distance from Peruna came to sell their wares and relax after another hard year of work. Unfortunately he forgot to account for the day's chill, which caused most people to cover themselves with long shawls. He scowled down at the pamphlet he received from Kakashi moments after he arrived on the mortal realm.

Trainee Brochure  
1) Find the subject:Do not make your-self known to be a guide. Young boys with an ounce of intelligence will know to take advantage of this opportunity to become a hero.  
2) Gain his trust: Being calm and collected always works. Give a conforting smile if the suspect is suspicious. Now you may give out your identification as a Guide  
3) Get to work. There's no time limit on your training. However, boys between the ages of 18 to 26 are at their strongest. A hero that is too old will also lose charisma.  
4) Don't be afraid to call for help if the situation gets out of hand. Attached to the letter is a reed whistle. Blow the whistle three times, and a helper will arrive. May the gods be with you.

Sasuke snorted, as if he didn't know all that already. He had been a Guide for two and a half century by now. And in those two and a half centuries, he has never used the whistle ever. Being teased as a raw beginner destroyed Sasuke's already wounded pride.

A loud scream caught Sasuke's attention. Sasuke's head whipped to his right. The Ash Theatre was a new establishment built by Sophocles' benefactors upon his request. There on a stage was slender blonde haired acting the part of Oedipus gouging out his eyes. Activating his eyes, Sasuke saw the grace and fluidity of the blonde's movements. Even from the distance, it was clear the blonde would be exceptionally beautiful. Sasuke could not see the actor's eyes, but two out of three was better than nothing. Standing up, Sasuke ignored the stairs in favor of jumping over the balcony. The finally is coming, and he needed to hurry to catch the blonde actor, who as right now has 60% chance of being Naruto. However, in his haste, Sasuke misjudged his speed. He barely missed the wheel-barrel that came careening towards him. The owner of the wheel-barrel was not so lucky. To avoid Sasuke, the owner had swerved and crashed into a stand before toppling into a ditch. Then, as if by some absurd domino theory, the rest of the stands collapsed as well effectively blocking Sasuke's route to Ash Theatre.

Cursing his bad luck, Sasuke failed to see the sudden fist that slammed into the side of his face.

"What the fuck were you doing you bastard?" An overly loud voice sounded in Sasuke ear.

Sasuke cracked open an eye to glare at his attacker. A short boy wearing a shapeless tunic and a far oversized shawl stood hands on hips, sky-blue eyes glaring. 'He's surprisingly strong for such a cute kid,' Sasuke thought. 'He seriously needs a bath though. I can't tell what his hair color is under all that dripping muck. Wait—the muck.' Sasuke's eyes flew over to the wheel-barrel in the ditch. Judging from the angle and the smell, the owner of the wheel-barrel had defiantly fallen into the ditch, which consequently appeared to be the town's drainage system.

"Who the fuck walks straight into a busy street without looking? What are you, five?" the boy growled.

Sasuke sighed, he couldn't waste anymore time arguing with an angry kid. "Hn. You swerved into that stand after you crashed passed me, idiot" As the shorter boy sputtered, Sasuke continued. "You packed too much into that cart. You can't even see pass all that crap when you were pushing the cart. I believe you are the menace to the streets, idiot. Now, if you don't mind, I need to look for someone. You wasted enough of my time as it is, idiot."

The boy, who had been growing redder with suppressed rage after each repetition of idiot, finally exploded as Sasuke briskly walked past him. "My name isn't idiot you bastard, it's Naruto Uzamaki. Don't you dare put the blame all on me" he shouted. "And you gotta pay me back for damages. Hey!" But it was too late; Sasuke had vanished into the chaos of the crowds before Naruto had even started shouting.

* * *

_Back in Hemlock Inn_

Sasuke paced back and forth in his comfortably furnished room (made possible by the reception girl's obvious infatuation of his looks). He had never ever had this much problem finding his partner before. By the time he had reached Ash Theatre, the actors had cleared out. Nevertheless, Sasuke had hung around the region until after hours, in hopes of glimpsing his elusive actor. It was all in vain of course, he saw no sign of blond hair anywhere for the rest of the day. 'Well I do have two more days, before this gathering ends.'

* * *

_Day 2_

Sasuke was seething, 'there was just too many damn people. How was he supposed to find one goddamn person in all this crowd?' Seeing a tavern ahead, Sasuke decided to enter on the off chance of either finding the blond actor or one of the other actors. Obsidian eyes swept through the crowed tavern before finally locking on a figure in the back. Sasuke gave a small smile. It seems that Tyche, the goodness of fortune, was favoring him. There listening intently to his cloaked companion, was the blond man Sasuke wanted to see. However, seeing no way to break in to the conversation, Sasuke sat at a nearby table facing the couple and signaled for the bar-maid.

Drink in hand, Sasuke took this chance to observe the blond. He could tell that under all that clothing, the blond was built nicely. Long smooth hair cascaded down his back. His shoulders were tense in his companion's company. Sasuke could tell that whatever the blond was listening to was not to his liking. Sasuke lost count of how long he sat there drinking and waiting for the pair's conversation to finish. Suddenly the cloaked figure stood and tossing a couple coins on the table left without another word. Seeing this as his signal to move, Sasuke slipped through the tables to stop beside the blond.

"May I sit here?" Sasuke asked politely. The blond man turned and seeing the face flushed with alcohol, Sasuke internally smirked. Pretty indeed. . Kakashi had been right to judge the blond as Sasuke's type. The blond's long bangs covered half of his face but could not hide his handsome face. However Sasuke thought the best part was the single aquamarine blue eye staring at him dazedly.

"What do you want," the blond man slurred.

Sasuke smirked, "you."

The man stared, "you are awfully blunt um. Are you a stalker?"

"It's the truth," Sasuke said, sitting down.

"You're better than him, at least," the blond said with distaste.

"You mean your companion," Sasuke stated.

"Yah, him" the blonde silded over, "but I'll settle for you, um." The last words were whispered seductively in Sasuke's ear. The other man laid his hand on the raven's shoulder.

Sasuke clasped his hand, and pulled the blond to his chest. "We'll see about settle." He murmured in his companion's ear. Internally he smirked as he felt a hand travel up his thigh; well the first stage is cleared. "Let's go somewhere more private."

"Um, I must be out of my mind listening to my stalker, why not? What's your name?"

"Sasuke."

"Well do you have a place in mind?"

"Hn." Sasuke stood and smoothly glided to the door. With the alcohol in his body, the blond wasn't as graceful. A loud crash silenced the pub. Dozens of bottles crashed around the long-haired male. A few landed on him. In concern Sasuke called out "Naruto!"

A voice on the right answered "Yah?"

Sasuke paused, surprised. A short kid with a mop of dirty blond hair had twisted to answer his call. When he turned fully to face the kid, the kid's blue eyes widened in shock.

"You!" he shouted in a deafening voice.

As Sasuke winced, 'this feels like déjà vu.'

Studying the blond kid, Sasuke could not see any resemblance to anyone he has met before. With a voice like that, Sasuke was sure he would remember is he had. 'Wait—did he just answer to the Naruto?'

"Your name, what's your name," Sasuke asked, praying to Hera the blond kid had simply heard his name wrong.

"It's Naruto Uzumaki, believe it," Naruto proclaimed. He then frowned, "why the fuck are you asking? You called my name just now."

Before Sasuke could answer, a weak voice groaned from the under the pile of broken glass. Naruto looking at the bloodied blond on the floor with wide eyes suddenly pointed an accusing finger at Sasuke.

"Teme, what did you do," Naruto screeched. "You caused another accident on a poor innocent soul and you dare call me a menace, you hypocrite! And you still have to pay me for damages bastard."

Sasuke frowned, 'damages menace?' Sasuke's eyes widened, 'Impossible, that clumsy think-headed idiot is Naruto?'

"Oi, teme, what are you—"Naruto's words was stopped by a firm hand over his mouth. Before he could start formulating a protest, Sasuke had pulled him out of the pub. In his haste, Sasuke failed to notice the other blonde's dark-cloaked companion sliding back in.

The dark figure swept stealthily through the crowd to stop at the fallen blond's feet. A velvety, if slightly exasperated voice sounded "I leave for five minutes and this happens?"

The blond on the ground moaned, "It's all that stalker's fault. Who does he think to ditch me for another bimbo when I need help?"

"Yes, Sasuke has always been rather impatient. Can you get up Diedra?"

The blond pouted, "No I can't. You need to carry me."

The taller man turned and left to for the door. He called behind him, "then I hope you find one of your devoted fans to help you out."

The Diedra started. "Wait, I lied. I can walk. Wait up, um!"

Putting up a burst of speed, the blond managed to catch up to his companion. Falling in step, with the taller man, Diedra said conversationally, "Hey how did you know that stalker's name, um? Seems like you know him."

"Yes, he's my foolish little brother." The taller man said without a break in his pace, leaving a slacked-faced Diedra behind.

* * *

Sasuke did not stop running until he was a well three streets away from the tavern. All the while, he had ignored the ear shattering protests of the blond he had pulled along with him. Sasuke had hoped that the blond would stop screaming eventually, but the idiot failed to be discouraged by the other's silence. Finally, the screams of "Bastard" and "teme" and "you kidnapper" and of more of colorful words were enough to shatter even Sasuke's patience. He suddenly stopped and slammed the blond against the street wall, effectively knocking the wind out of him. This also has, to brunette's relief, the added bonus of silencing the blond's loud protests.

"That's enough," Sasuke hissed. "Stop shouting and listen to me. I just want to talk to you."

Naruto, who had regained his breath, snapped loudly, "Why should I listen to anything you have to say? You still own me money for damages you bastard."

"All the more reason you should consider a civil conversation with me dobe. Can you keep your voice down? Unless you want everybody in the region to hear our conversation."

Naruto glared, "Fine. But don't—"

"Let's go somewhere more private." Then without another word, Sasuke teleported them to his room in Hemlock inn. The blond man stumbled backwards, stunned and speechless.

To answer the blonde's inarticulate answer Sasuke said "I'm a guide. I—"

"Train future heroes to protect the human realm. The strongest hero will also have the chance to become a God of Olympia, or at least that's what the rumors are." murmured Naruto, not shouting for once.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow in surprise.

"Despite what you say, I do pay attention. You could have given me a bit of a warning before you teleported teme. What if I died of a heart attack from the sudden shock?"

"Heart attacks don't result form shock dobe."

Naruto glared. "Fine. But why did you tell me that you are I Guide? I thought Guides only reveal themselves to their partners in the mortal realm. I'm no hero." Naruto snorted. "You even said I'm an idiot, so it must not be your blinding admiration for me that you picked me for you partner."

Sasuke sighed. "I didn't pick you. I didn't even know who you are. All I got was a name and a description, blond, blue-eyes, pre—well you fit the description and your name is Naruto."

"I see, so what now?" Naruto asked.

Sasuke frowned, "you're quiet."

"Well, let's see how you behave after some bastard knock you into a sewage, wreck your cart, make most stall owners hate you, then kidnaps you and says he's a Guide. It's a lot to take in for most people." Naruto folded his arms, "and you still have to pay me for damages, since you damaged all my wares you bastard."

Sasuke ignored that comment. "Good, so adjust then we can start your training tomorrow."

"When did I say I would agree to you training me, teme? Actually I see trouble for you if you fail to turn me into a good hero. You'll probably end up like that Guide who trained Achilles. Heard he's on probation or something."

Internal Sasuke ] started screaming 'mayday mayday.' To direct Naruto away from that dangerous conversation that could only result in Sasuke's humiliation at the hands of an idiot, Sasuke said, "How do you want for the cart?"

"Six piece of gold for the cart. And 500 gold for my wares, so 506 gold in total," Naruto said proudly, counting his fingers.

"There was only hay in that cart, dobe," commented Sasuke, "It's not worth that much."

At those words, Naruto turned red, and held a guilty face. "Actually, it wasn't hay. I hide some of Sophocles' original scrolls in the hay. My grandmother is a big fan."

"How did you get those? I heard Sophocles was going to auction off some of his scrolls in two days, but that's the first time he will sell any of his originals. He's a famous playwright. Those scrolls must cost fortunes. Is that why you were in rags when I first say you?"

Naruto reddened and looked to the side. However, that caused him to first fully take in the luxurious room he was in. Naruto stared then glared at Sasuke. "Not everyone is rich like you, teme," Naruto snapped. "Don't you look down at me just because I wouldn't have money to buy them at the auction."

"..."

"..."

"You do realize you just admitted to a second degree theft."

"I, that is-um, you misunderstood. I—"

"I won't say anything—"

"Really?"

"—If you agree to let me train you to be a hero."

Naruto scowled, "fine, but I'm a busy person, so we are going to work with my schedule. Also I—"

"Give me your address."

"What you gonna turn into a stalker now? I have sisters, no way am I gonna give you my address."

A vein ticked on internal Sasuke's temple. 'What is with blondes and their obsession with stalkers,' he internally snarled. Outwardly, Sasuke's face remained emotionless. "The address is so that I can find you in the event you run away, dobe."

"What you don't think I can take it? I'm the strongest person in this town, believe it. Besides, I can take anything some pretty boy throws at me," Naruto said smugly.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. Before Naruto could blink, he found himself on the floor with arms pinned to his back. Sasuke murmured into Naruto's ear, "Believe me when I say I don't want an idiot to be my partner. But since I don't have any other options, you better cooperate. And you don't have a choice in this matter; just listen to what I say. Got it?"

Subdued for once, all Naruto could do is nod. Sasuke let go of the smaller boy's arms and stood up to offered said boy a hand. A suspicious Naruto took the hand.

After getting up, Naruto started rubbing his nose. Saying, "Ano, can I stay here? My place is a little crowded right now."

Taking Sasuke's silence as a yes, Naruto grinned happily, his early defeat clearly forgotten. Jumping on to Sasuke's bed Naruto said happily, "Cool, I've never slept on such a big bed before,"

Sasuke scowled at the bouncing figure on his bed. "Off."

"No way teme. I agree to do what you say even though. The least you could do is to give me some comfort."

Sasuke paused, then believing a fight over a bed would not be worth the headache he would receive next morning from lack of sleep, kicked Naruto over to one side and climbed on.

"What are you doing, teme," Naruto screeched.

"This is my bed. I'm paying for it. If you want to sleep on it, you will have to share. Goodnight." Then, ignoring Naruto's protests blew out the candle.

* * *

The night is peaceful. As a guide, Sasuke rarely sleeps, but falls in a half-state mind. He took this opportunity to examine his partner's sleeping face. Naruto looked completely different in his sleep. His smaller frame made him look like a little kid, 'delicate,' Sasuke thought. Lightly brushing hair off his partner's face, Sasuke paused when he felt grime on his finger-tips. He stared, and then quickly jumped off the bed. Sasuke always prided himself on his observation skills, but it seemed that talent is useless around the blond. Cursing himself for not noticing the brownish color in Naruto's hair and face was not in fact his natural color, but dust. 'The idiot must have simply jumped into the river to clean himself after he fell into the sewage.' Deciding that it would be pointless to wake Naruto now, since all the grime must have gone into the bedding, Sasuke dragged a chair from the verandah inside and sat in it. His last clear thought before he drifted into his dream-like state of mind was 'Those bed sheets will have to be burned.'

A/N: Whew, finally done. Writing took longer than I thought it would be. Review please. I will keep writing but I won't post unless I get enough reviews since this is my pet story.


	3. Meeting

WAAAAAAAAAA Finally back from vacation. It was lovely to see all the beautiful reviews

totally bummed for a week though so sorry for the late update, enjoy and please review =b

Disclaimer: don't own anything

* * *

_Hemlock Inn, Peruna_

Naruto woke to a gentle breeze against his face. He snuggled farther into the most comfortable bed he had ever slept in. Breathing in the comforting scent of his pillow, Naruto would have drifted off to sleep if a huge bucketful of water had not splashed onto his head. Naruto sputtered and sprang out of bed screaming bloody murder. Seeing the dark-haired boy calmly swing a bucket in his hands, Naruto's face reddened in anger. Growling, Naruto sprang to tackle the dark haired boy. However coordination had never been Naruto's strong points in the morning. The blond fell heavily to the ground when the other boy nimbly stepped aside. Undaunted, Naruto quickly regained his feet and spun around for another round.

"Come here you bastard! I am going to %^$!#&^% you, dattebayo!"

"No way in hell am I touching you until you get a proper bath. The water serves a double purpose. "

"I am not dirty teme! I took a bath yesterday," shouted Naruto. "And even you could at least yell or something, dammit! That's the normal way of waking people up. Who dumps water someone in bed?"

"Take off your clothes."

Naruto sputtered, flabbergasted. Pointing an accusing figure, he shouted "What the hell? I knew you were a pervert."

"You wanted me to do things normal, so unless you want me to burn them off, take them off."

"Burn?" Naruto's eyes zeroed in on the second more inconspicuous bucket sitting in the corner along with some incense, libanon from the smell . One glance at the unctuous surface of the liquid confirmed Naruto's suspicions. 'OMG, he really is going to burn me alive."

Keeping an eye on Sasuke's hands, Naruto slowly backed away from the brunette. "Whoa, no need to get so extreme. What do you want me to do anyways."

"You stink, and your clothes are the cause. Get out of them then go to the bathhouse."

Upon hearing this, Naruto gave an indignant yell, "Who said I stink? I told you I just took a bath yesterday, there is no way I'd stink."

In response Sasuke lit a match.

Naruto gulped. Holding out his hands pleadingly, he said "Alright, I stink. I stink. I'll go take a stupid bath."

"Just hurry up, or I can wash you right here."

With that threat issued, Sasuke pressed a basin containing a soap bar and a small towel into Naruto's grimy hands. Naruto hurriedly left the room, grumbling about perverted picky bastards all the way. Sasuke ignored Naruto's muttered curses. Surveying the room, Sasuke planned his next task: complete sanitization of the room. He opened to door to the veranda and proceeded to clean, which included the use of libanon, oil, and ample supply of straw. Within a few minutes, Sasuke had a satisfying blaze going on the veranda. Waving a fond farewell to the ashes of the inn's formerly white bed sheets, Sasuke sauntered towards the direction of the public baths, determined see that Naruto's poor clothes attain the same fate.

* * *

_Public Bathhouse, Peruna_

Naruto stood confounded outside the bath house. He had forgotten that bathing at the bathhouse costs money, which is why he usually washes in a river. Unfourtuately, it was an hour walk to the stream he had bathed in yesterday. He somehow suspected that if he took too long, Sasuke would take the opportunity to bathhouse to search for him. 'If the bastard finds out that I ditched a "proper" bath, no telling what he'll do.' Naruto shuddered, remembering Sasuke's attitude this morning. In his dazed state, Naruto did not notice the trio of midgets who suddenly jumped him.

"Hold him tight guys!" screamed the boy wearing a ridiculously long scarf.

The other two compiled by wrapping themselves tighter around Naruto's arms and legs. Naruto winced slightly at the force of those small hands.

Turning his head, the scarf boy shouted at the top of his voice, "Ino, Sakura, we found him!"

At the sound of the kid's voice, two small figures parted from the crowd, sprinting towards the bath house at full force. As the pair covered ground at a remarkable rate, Naruto recognized that they were indeed his sharp-tongued sister, Ino and the strongest girl in their village, Sakura. Naruto gulped at the murderous look on Sakura's face. The last time he had seen that look was when he had accidently wore her clothes. Though it had wounded his manly pride when he realized he fit so well into a girl's clothes, Sakura's pride had completely fallen apart. The other girls had relentlessly mocked Sakura's figure. She couldn't take out her anger out at the girls, as that would have resulted in the confirmation of her lack of feminism. Thus, Naruto became the guinea-pig that had been beaten to a pulp after that incident. Seeing that same look again, Naruto redoubled his struggles to get free. However, the three pairs of hands that held on to him were surprisingly strong. His struggles were futile. All Naruto saw before a strong fist made him flew at least six feet into a pillar was a pink blur.

Ino stood over him, glaring. "Where the fuck were you Naruto? Do you have any idea how worried we were? We were so worried and now we find you outside of a bath house. You know we can't afford luxuries like this."

"You idiot. You don't have any money since Jiraya drank away all your allowance. I can't believe we actually looked the whole yesterday and this morning for you," Sakura added.

Naruto stood, wincing. "Sorry, Saukra-chan. But it isn't my fault, I swear! I was gonna get you-know for grandma-Tsunada, and then the bastard knocked my cart into the sewage so the scr—thing was ruined and then he left without paying me anything so I left for the tavern to tell Ero-sennin but then I saw him at the tavern and he kidnapped me. Then this morning the bastard woke me up with water screaming that I'm not clean or some other bullshit and made me come here even though I took a bath yesterday so I came here but then I remembered I don't have any money and then—"

"What are you talking about Naruto," Sakura interrupted. "And who are you complaining about?"

"Forget about that," Ino waved her hand, "how could you loose that scr—package after all the trouble we went to get?"

"I told you it was that bastard's fault!"

"Who's—"

"A bath isn't this complicated, dobe," a familiar voice interrupted Sakura.

Naruto, who had sadly learned to know that voice anywhere, pointed an excited finger at Sasuke. "There, that's him! The guy who made me lose the thing."

Hearing no answer from the girls, Naruto turned his head back towards them in confusion. The sight that greeted him made him blink and rub his eyes several times before he accepted that the pink hearts spilling from Sakura and Ino were in fact real. 'Who's the lucky guy,' he wondered, not without a little jealousy. After all, Sakura _is _his unrequited love. Turning his head to look in the same direction as he girls, he tried to look past Sasuke in search of the lucky guy. Nope, the only living things he could see were old grandpas and some pigeons, and Sasuke. Naruto's eyes widened incredulously, 'no way' he internally screamed. 'Sakura, not to mention my sister, is too picky to fall for a bastard like Sasuke. It must be some invisible man that only girls can see.' Coming to this brilliant conclusion, Naruto internally gave himself a nice pat on the back. His self-admiration of his intellect was interrupted by Sakura's tugging on his shirt.

"Who's your good looking friend," she whispered urgently, peering at Sasuke under her eyelashes.

"I might have to rethink my perception of you, little brother," Ino added, "if your friends are all this good-looking. Maybe I should let you off the noose more."

"Friend?" Naruto replyed, confusedly turning his head around. "What friend?"

Sakura leaned over and whispered impatiently, "well, when are you going to introduce me?"

"Huh?"

Ino sighed, "that punch must have messed up his brain, not that there was much left." Then, turning on her full feminine charm, she sauntered over the Sasuke and laid a dainty hand on his shoulder. "Hey there hottie, my name's Ino."

Sasuke merely glanced boredly at the blond leech on his shoulder. "Hn."

Sakura, however, had finally convinced Naruto to introduce her. "This is Sakura. She's the most beautiful and wonderful girl in our village."

At this Ino glared. Naruto's next words, however, relieved her of her anger. "Keep your hands off her, 'cause she's going to be my girlfriend."

Sasuke felt a slight pang of annoyance at the slobbering puppy-dog way Naruto was acting. Sakura, hearing Naruto's words, hurriedly let go of Naruto in favor of clasping on to Sasuke's other arm. "What's your name? Are you new around here, let me show you around." The three smaller kids in the background fascinatingly watched the two girls glare daggers at each other under their eye-lashes.

"No thanks. I came here for Naruto" was Sasuke's fast reply to Sakura's invitation.

Sakura and Ino held a truce on their glaring battle in favor of joining forces to glare heatedly in Naruto's direction. Naruto gulped, suddenly afraid for his life for the third time that day.

"Let's go dobe. We don't have any time."

Suddenly, the two girls were leaning on empty air. Before any of them registered what had happened, Sasuke had grabbed Naruto and was at the entrance of the bath house. Tossing the attendant at the entrance some coins, Sasuke strolled into the bath house with Naruto in tow, all this before the two unfortunate girls had even fallen to the ground.

Naruto followed wordlessly, as Sasuke navigated them through the gatehouse. Even the mural of Hercules, Naruto's favorite hero, defeating Ceres failed to elicit any reaction from Naruto. Naruto finally came to his senses when Sasuke violently tore off Naruto's shirt. Naruto screeched and caught Sasuke's hand as it was going for the pants.

"Hey! What do you think you are doing?"

"Helping you take a bath, dobe, since you obviously can't do it fast enough."

"Fine, but why are you ripping my clothes?"

"You're not wearing these. A dish towel is more sanitary."

"I can't wear a dish towel you pervert. What am I going to wear?"

"Another set of clothes."

"I don't have anything else."

"Buy some…"

"I don't have any money bastard."

"…Then I'll get some. Go. Bath."

"Fine, but I can't pay you back you know." Naruto said, trying to piece his shirt back together. When he heard no answer, he looked up. Seeing no sign of Sasuke, Naruto again began cursing impossible bastards under his breath before continuing undressing.

* * *

_Meanwhile, outside..._

"What the fuck was that Ino-pig? You were the reason Sasuke left."

"Me? While you were clinging to him like a giant pink-headed leech? He probably never saw anything so gross."

"Take that back Ino."

"No way."

The girls stood glaring at each other. "Sakur—"

Konohomaru chose this moment to interrupt the two girls. "Hey guys, Uncle Jiraya said if we couldn't find Naruto before noon, he would go get the police searching and the money to do that comes from our allowance. Me, Udon, and Moeqi can't go back right now because we have to go see Ebisu-sensi for our lessons. Ino stopped glaring at Sakura. "I'll go back then, I have to open shop anyways."

Turning around, Ino headed for the main street. Before she vanished into the crowd, she turned towards Sakura and said in a surprisingly calm voice. "Don't stay out too late. Not all fairy-tales are true."

Sakura raised her head in surprise, but Ino was already gone. 'Ino is just mad she has to go. She doesn't know what she is talking about. I am going to stay right here. This way I'll be the first person Sasuke sees when he comes out,' Sakura thought determinately. As if that thought is the law of the universe, Sasuke appeared in front of Sakura the moment Ino was out of sight. Sakura stumbled back in shock.

"Let's go shopping."

Sakura gasped. Could Sasuke be asking her out on a date? Sakura smirked. 'I know exactly what clothes he would look good in.' Out loud Sakura said, "The agora is open late. It has the best choices. I'll take you there Sasuke."

"Hn."

* * *

_Inside of Peruna's bathhouse_

Naruto sat in the sauna bubbling away his anger. Though he had tried his best, his shirt was beyond saving. Since Peruna had a strict law against public displays, all he could do is to sit in a corner of the huge sauna waiting for the bane of his existence to arrive with some clothes. Naruto growled, causing more bubbles to surface. 'Damn that bastard, Sasuke. When he gets here I'm gonna—'

Naruto started as a hand suddenly cupped his ass. He twisted away and jumped out of the sauna. Wipping water from from his eyes, Naruot opened his mouth to swear loudly at the pervert. He stopped suddenly and stared at the person in front of him in confusion. On first look, Naruto had though the person was Sasuke, but upon closer inspection, Naruto realized that one, the person's hair was not sticking up, two his skin was unhealthily pale, whereas Sasuke's had been a nice alabaster color, and lastly and most noticeable of all, the stranger was wearing a smile that Naruto dubbed as 100% unSasukelike.

Naruto scowled, "who the hell are you?"

The stranger stepped out of the pool. "Hello Naruto, my name is Sai. It is a pleasure to meet you."

Nartuo squinted suspiciously at Sai "How did you know my name? And watch where you put your hands, pervert."

Sai simply smiled. "I was watching, beautiful."

Naruto gaped at Sai. "Wh-, you -but" he sputtererd. "I'm a guy, you don't call guys beautiful."

"You reacted exactly as Jiraya said you would"

"Huh, you know the old man?"

Sai took a step closer. "Take a walk with me after this Naruto. I want to discuss some business with you."

"Sure, does it have to with Ero-Sennin, um I mean Jiraya? He's always—Hey!' Naruto pulled at the hand that had snaked around his waist. Sai pulled Naruto closer. His hand slipped down to cup Naruto's ass. Naruto opened his mouth to protest, but stopped at the intense look on Sai's face. A blur shot between the two men.

Sasuke grabbed Sai's hand. "Don't force yourself on others. This is unseemly behavior."

When Sai merely smiled, Sasuke glared. Using Sai's arm as leverage, Sasuke flipped Sais into the sauna. Turning around, he steered Naruto out of the bathhouse, completely ignoring the sputtering Sai that was attempting to climb out of the pool.

"You sure to just leave him like that?" Naruto asked.

Sasuke snorted. "You want to help him, go ahead. Though I doubt you would want to if you knew what he wanted to do with you."

"Huh?" Naruto said, "He just wanted to talk about business. What's wrong with that?"

Sasuke sighed. 'Good looks and a gullible personality, it's a wonder how the blond got through life so far unscarred.' "No one would want to do business with you in a sauna, idiot. You look too young, not to mention unprofessional. You are more likely to be a rag-man than a business man."

Naruto glared, but found himself unable to counter Sasuke's sound argument. Thankfully he was left with no time to answer as Sasuke teleported them back to the inn.

"Here," Sasuke tossed a bag at Naruto, "your clothes."

Naruto stared at the bag. "You actually bought me clothes," Naruto asked incredulously.

"No. The pink-head did." Sasuke ended the conversation there. He had delayed too long sending a confirmation that he had found his partner. After a few hand-signs, Sasuke held a round object with three knobs that pointed at a maze of symbols. Sasuke confidently started twiddling the knobs in a seemingly random way. Meanwhile, Naruto grabbed the bag and walked into the closet to change.

* * *

_A quarter hour later_

**"ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! $^&*%#%^&$!"**

Sasuke, who is still not used to Naruto's volume, stopped fiddling with the strange object in favor of summoning ear-plugs. After he made sure the ear-plugs were securing in his ears, Sasuke picked up the round object and continued to turn knobs.

"What's your problem dobe," Sasuke asked, not bothering to look in Naruto's direction.

"The outfit! The outfit! The outfit!" Naruto screamed. With the new ear-plugs, Naruto's voice finally sounded a normal volume.

"What's wrong with the outfit?" Sasuke asked absentmindedly.

Naruto jumped out of the closet to shout "How is this even an outfit? There are more strings than cloth. And the cloth is even transparent. Hey, listen to me!"

"Hn." Sasuke mumbled, intent on fiddling with the strange looking object.

"Hey!" Naruto shouted, leaping in front of Sasuke to get his attention. Starring at Naruto in his new outfit, Sasuke couldn't stop the incoming nosebleed. Naruto was wearing a robe woven of fine loopy chords. The silvery mesh did nothing to hide the tan skin that lay underneath. The chlamys wrapped around the blond's slim body was made of a semi-transparent gaze. All in all, the outfit resembles what the ekpornevo wore in the red-light districts. Drinking in the sight of the blond beauty in such a revealing outfit, Sasuke gradually realized how tight his pants had become. Wanting to avoid a potentially embarrassing scene, Sasuke's brain did a frenzied search for words that would distract Naruto from seeing his little problem.

Deciding that the blond responds best to taunts and anger, Sasuke snapped a bit harshly "What the hell are you wearing Naruto?"

Naruto's eyes bulged "What do you mean what am I wearing teme? You got these—these things!"

"Ah so those clothes were the ones in the bag." Sasuke said lanquidly, staring at the bronze skin presented before him.

"Of course they are, and you call me an idoit! Didn't you go out to buy these?"

"The pink-head did all the shopping. I just brought you whatever she chose."

"Why the hell would you accept these clothes? Are you a pervert?" Suddenly Naruto's eyes widened. "Oh my god, you are a pervert. And you like me too don't you. Now I get it. This whole thing was your idea to kidnap me and force me to wear something like this and then rape me. Right? I am right. Well Naruto Uzumaki is not going down without a fight!" Naruto declared.

Sasuke snorted. "Are you an idiot? Why would I go through all that trouble just for a blond idiot who looked like some drowned rat that crawled out of the gutter? And also I never saw your clothes before you jumped in front of me _wearing them_, idiot."

Naruto looked down. Screaming loudly again, the blond grabbed a fresh sheet from the bed and covered himself with it.

Sasuke felt a pang of disappointment that he instantly squelched. Inwardly the brunette mused 'now that I know what he looks like in those clothes, the sequence he just mentioned doesn't seem like a bad idea.' Then realizing what he had just thought, Sasuke shook his head to vanquish those naughty thoughts.

Coming back to the situation at hand, Sasuke sighed, " guess it can't be helped." With a few signs, a plain tunic and a sturdy chlamys appeared on the floor. Sasuke handed the new clothes to a dumbstruck Naruto.

"Put these on. Don't be so loud this time."

Naruto stared at the new clothes bemusedly. Scowling, he asked, "Why didn't you just do this in first place, bastard?"

Not bothering to wait for answer, Naruto took the clothes and stomped to the closet.

"These are illusion, they will vanish in about twenty hours," Sasuke called, finishing sending his message. Setting the round object aside, Sasuke began drawing plans for Naruto's training to become a hero.

* * *

Phew done, please review=]

btw I will not be able to update for a few weeks. Getting my wisdom teeth pulled.


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